it’s a family relationship, or a couple, everything can be rocked by a tempest. As a guilty party of course you want to apologize, but how to apologize so that dignity is maintained? Here’s how.
According to a dictionary, pride can be defined as excessive appreciation of oneself or proper respect for oneself. Well, if you are the first type, then apologizing will indeed make you feel lost in self-esteem.
But if apologizing is needed to save the relationship and to keep someone important in life, then it’s a good thing to keep that self-esteem in the drawer.
In fact, the act of apologizing, especially if indeed you are the one who makes the case will actually show your true character: you are an imperfect human being who still wants to maintain a relationship (whatever form) with the person you really love. Whatever it takes. Apologizing doesn’t mean you’re losing your dignity.
We’ll tell you how can apologize sincerely without embarrassing themselves or feeling self-esteem being mistreated.
“You have to admit to yourself that apologizing will be difficult if you have to ALWAYS be right or you view an apology as a helpless person’s action,” says Beverly Engel in her book, “The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationship.”
But trying to overcome the fear of being perceived as guilty, weak or helpless in your relationship will make it easier for you to take steps toward reconciliation.
When considering apologizing, think about what words you’re going to say. Thinking about it first it will help not to say something that actually shows a defensive attitude or talk long-winded.
Make sure you state what mistakes you made and then apologize in a specific and concise way. This shows that you realize why you’re angering the other party. For example, you could say, “Don’t you know that Friday night I already have my own plans with friends, even though you wish we spent time together at home. I shouldn’t have.” Point.
You don’t have to go on to say, “I’m very, very sorry,” or “I’m a total human being.” Expressing regret is enough and keeping an apology simple will make you seem emotionally strong and confident.
Shows that you are aware that your actions are harming others and hurting their feelings. Let me also know that your feelings are important to you. “This is the crux of the apology. Doing so clearly shows your sense of humanity towards the disdaught,” psychologist Denise Cummins said in an April 2013 article in “Psychology Today.”
And remember, showing that you care about other people’s feelings doesn’t make you look weak, but compassionate.
Finally, tell the person you’ve hurt that you won’t repeat actions or sayings that have left them sad and disappointed. If you struggle with arrogance, feeling that showing remorse and apologizing means letting others dictate to you, then sooner or later you’ll end up alone.
Apologizing doesn’t mean that someone else has control over your life. It shows you are both strong and kind by giving you the assurance that you will not hurt that person again by repeating the same action.
For example, if you tell your friend very personal details about your partner’s family life, it’s best to tell your partner that in the future you won’t break his or her trust again and won’t talk anything about your partner’s family without his or her consent.